Crimson Darkred, Sword of Malice

Crimson Darkred, Sword of Malice (+0 magic bastard sword, intelligent, requires attunement)

This bastard sword is an intelligent weapon of questionable utility. While the sword is held, it provides advantage on intimidate checks made by shouting. If words are used during the shout, the wielder must use a language shared by the target, though the specific wording does not matter.*

If the wielder dramatically introduces the sword by full name to an enemy during combat, the sword heals its wielder by 1hp. This effect can only be used once until the end of the next short or long rest. If the wielder refers to the sword without naming it (saying "my sword" or "my blade," etc. as opposed to "Crimson Darkred"), the sword deals 1d4 lightning damage to its wielder. This damage cannot be reduced or negated in any way. Damage from this effect can only be incurred once until the end of the next short or long rest.

If another intelligent weapon with the ability to speak is in the presence of Crimson Darkred, the other intelligent weapon will know of Crimson Darkred and either taunt or console Crimson Darkred depending upon the personality of the other weapon. Feelings of irritation and a desire to prove oneself flow into the user if Crimson Darkred is taunted by another intelligent weapon. If Crimson Darkred is consoled by another weapon, the wielder feels embarrassment and a desire to sheathe Crimson Darkred, and the advantage on intimidate checks while Crimson Darkred is held become disadvantage until the end of the next long rest.

*  - Once, a confused warrior held the sword high and shouted, "I'm going to mildly-to-moderately inconvenience you!" and cowed three gnolls into submission. In another, more unfortunate incident in a rowdy tavern, the warrior had to raise his voice to order drinks while one hand unwittingly rested on the sword's pommel, causing the terrified barmaid burst into tears and the regular patrons to come to her defense, casting the fighter and his party out. A third, stranger event was when the sword was stolen from its wielder: a halfling thief crept into the wielder's camp at night, picked up the sword but was caught by one of the wielder's allies while trying to escape. The thief and ally both screamed, dropped their swords and ran in opposite directions. The sword was recovered safely the next morning.

(A weapon with a case of chuunibyou.)